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lit bathroom。 They slammed the door and leaned against it； groping and squeezing and clawing at each other； kissing madly。 Then Trevor was kneeling on the hard cement floor； licking Zach's stomach； using his teeth to pull down the leggings； gripping Zach's hipbones like handles。
It only took about ninety seconds。 〃Oh Trev；〃 Zach gasped as he came； 〃oh god I needed that； thank you； thank you 。 。 。〃
〃Sure。〃 Trevor wiped his mouth on the back of his hand。 〃Can't be a real rock star without a backstage blowjob。〃
Someone knocked。
Trevor felt Zach's body stiffen。 He got to his feet。 Zach tugged his leggings up and backed away from the door。 〃Who is it？〃
〃Us；〃 said a chorus of sheepish voices。
Zach opened the door。 Terry； his girlfriend Victoria； R。J。； and Calvin were standing just outside looking embarrassed。 〃Sorry；〃 said Calvin； 〃but the break's almost over and we thought you might want some of these。〃 He held out a plastic bag half full of mushrooms。 They were pale brown streaked with iridescent blue…the psilocybin…and gave off a crumbling earthy smell。
Trevor saw Zach's hand start to reach forward； then he paused and looked uncertainly back at Trevor。 〃I like mushrooms a lot。 Have you ever done 'em？〃
Trevor shook his head。
〃Well 。 。 。 they'd give you plenty of ideas； that's for sure。〃 Zach stared at Trevor； then back at the bag。 〃Can I have some for later？〃 he asked。
Calvin pulled the bag back。 〃You can buy some。 I'm not giving them away if you're not gonna do 'em with us。〃
Zach's eyes met Calvin's。 Though these two probably were attracted to each other； Trevor realized； that wasn't exactly what was going on between them。 It was rather that they understood each other as any creatures of the same species will； especially if it is a dangerous species。
〃Okay。〃 Zach pulled out a handful of twenties。 〃How much？〃
〃Well 。。。 oh； fuck it。〃 Terry； R。J。； and Victoria had all started staring at Calvin reproachfully as soon as he mentioned money。 〃I don't care。 Just take a handful。〃
Zach was nearly laughing as he reached into the bag。 〃Thanks； Calvin。 That's real nice of you。〃 Their eyes were shooting silver daggers at each other； but on another level they seemed to be positively enjoying the exchange。 Trevor had spent the past two days diving into Zach's character like an unfamiliar river； eager to let it flow over him； to let its current carry him along。 Now he was beginning to realize that it had secret tributaries and strange deep pools he might never fathom。
Zach wrapped his mushrooms in a twist of toilet paper and gave them to Trevor to hold。 Trevor stowed the little bundle deep in his pocket； then wiped his fingers on his shirt。 He wasn't at all sure he wanted to eat those nasty…looking things。 Bobby had liked his hallucinogens； Trevor knew； but gave them up soon after he stopped drawing。 And Crumb had done all sorts of drugs； though he claimed in a recent ics Journal interview that they had affected his draftsmanship。
But what had Trevor thought earlier？ Hyping his consciousness with caffeine had helped him prowl around the edges of his past； but he had not yet penetrated to the heart of it。 Maybe it was time to start altering his brain； laying open his very cells。 Maybe then he would know enough so that he could leave with Zach； if Zach had to go。
Gumbo kicked off the second set with a thrash…tempo version of the old Cajun song 〃Paper in My Shoe。〃 Zach shouted what lyrics he knew over a pileup of guitar and drum noise and made up the rest； grinning between the rapid…fire lines。 He had never been able to stand Cajun music when he lived in New Orleans。 But singing this song here in this club was like going home again。
The crowd was dancing hard。 From the stage they looked like nothing but a seething； bobbing mass of heads； waving hands； blissed…out faces。 Zach noticed that the beautiful red…haired boy was still at front and center； but he had switched his attention to Calvin。 The guitarist kept making eye contact with the boy； playing to him。 The boy was dancing so hard that his white shirt had gone transparent with sweat。 Zach could see the pink points of his nipples through the drenched cotton。
See； Zach felt like telling Calvin； you're a knockout； you have drugs； you play guitar in a hot band。 You couldn't go home alone tonight if you wanted to。
They eased into another jam； this one slow； dark； and nasty。 The V…neck of the boy's shirt had slipped down； exposing one pale shoulder。 Several girls in front were wearing skimpy tank tops； and as they danced their slender arms swayed in the air like branches。 Zach found himself thinking about skin。 It could be a fabulously erotic substance； smooth under the hands； salty against the tongue。 Its color could inspire hatred。 It could be flayed and tanned。
He gripped the microphone； leaned forward until his lips were almost touching it。 〃Dressin' up at night in his suit of skin 。 。 。 Cured her ribs in the barn 。 。 。 Fried up her heart in a skillet 。 。 。 Put her ole hands in a jar 。 。 。〃
He caught Trevor laughing in the audience； eyes squeezed shut； mouth wide open： a pletely unself…conscious moment。 Zach let his lips brush the mike。 〃Ooooh Ed；〃 he moaned； 〃what'd you do with her head？〃
The kids loved it。 Zach hung on the mike stand； threw in a few sultry bars of 〃Summertime。〃 Gonna spread your wings； take to the sky 。 。 。
Too soon they came to the last song。 Zach threw himself into it hard； ended up on his knees clutching the mike； howling into it； forcing every bit of air from his lungs； reaching deep into his soul for those blues。 Who knew when he would sing for an audience again？ He had to make this time good enough to last。
Then it was over。 He was backstage； listening to the roar of the crowd through the thin wall。 Terry； R。J。； and Calvin were slapping his back； congratulating him； assuring him of a gig if he decided to stick around town。 After they got high again； the others went out to start packing up their equipment； and Zach found Trevor standing alone at the edge of the crowd。
They lingered in the bar for a while。 Soon the other band members drifted in to bask in the post…performance attention。 Friends milled around； hoping to be drawn into the circle。 Kids approached them with pliments； smiles； hungry eyes。
Zach saw Calvin talking to the boy who had been dancing in front of the stage。 The boy's face was as delicately shaded as a watercolor painting： eyelashes the same red…gold as his hair； pale pink lips； the faintest of lavender hollows above and below his eyes。 He made a grand gesture with his hand； lowered his eyelids disdainfully。 〃I don't know；〃 Zach heard him say。 〃Last time I did mushrooms they were old and made me sick。〃
〃These are real fresh；〃 Calvin assured him。 〃I grew 'em myself。〃
〃Well 。 。 。'〃 The boy's eyes tilted up to meet Calvin's。 〃I guess I will。〃 He smiled。
〃e on backstage with me。 We'll do you up real good。〃
Zach watched them leave the bar together。 The thought of those two exquisite creatures having mad hallucinatory sex made him happy for some reason。 He looked at Trevor sitting next to him and thought about having some mad hallucinatory sex of his own。
〃You want to get out of here soon？〃 he asked； and couldn't help laughing when Trevor looked absurdly grateful。
Chapter Twenty
Back at the house； Trevor and Zach sat at the kitchen table drinking tapwater from freshly washed glasses。 Only a rusty trickle had e out of the faucet at first； but when they left it running for a few minutes it turned into a clear； steady stream。 Zach couldn't help remembering the rotten blood and ropy sperm gushing from the bathroom tap； but the kitchen water looked and tasted fine。
The mushrooms lay on the table in front of them； next to the puter； still half…swathed in a twist of Sacred Yew toilet paper。 Both boys kept glancing at them from time to time； Trevor with intrigued trepidation； Zach with a sort of patient lust。
As soon as they got home； they had gone through the house turning on lights in all the safe rooms…the kitchen； the big bedroom； Trevor's bedroom； the studio。 Even the hall light was burning。 Though it was well past midnight； the house felt almost cozy。
Zach couldn't stop talking about the show。 〃As soon as I hit that stage；〃 he told Trevor； 〃I felt like I was born there。 I haven't felt born to anything since the first time I touched a puter。 What am I gonna do； Trev？ Maybe I could disguise myself and bee a famous rock star。 Like the guy in that movie Angel Heart； but in reverse； without amnesia。 It'd be the perfect cover！〃
〃But the guy in Angel Heart sold his soul to the Devil。〃
〃I don't have a problem with that。〃 Zach fingered a mushroom cap； watched a few dark spores sift onto the tabletop。 〃You know； I really want to eat some of these。〃
〃Eat 'em； then。〃
〃Are you going to do any？〃
〃Well 。 。 。〃 Trevor shifted in his chair。 〃What exactly happens？ Is it like getting stoned？〃
〃No； it's much more intense。 Scarier； your first time。 But you'll see all kinds of beautiful hallucinations and feel all kinds of weird physical sensations and have fucked…