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of the man with a grievance。
And I； who by every precept should have put heart into them … how could I help them； who could so little help myself。？ Here the colonel under whom we had formed； was promoted out of our sight and succeeded by a younger and less lovable man； cross…posted from another regiment。 There were few left in the mess now of the batch of volunteers who trained together at the outbreak of war； one way and another they were nearly all gone … some had been invalided out； some promoted to other battalions； some posted to staff jobs； some had volunteered for special service； one had got himself killed on the field firing range； one had been court…martialled … and their places were taken by conscripts； the wireless played incessantly in the ante…room nowadays and much beer was drunk before dinner； it was not as it had been。
Here at the age of thirty…nine I began to be old。 I felt stiff and weary in the evenings and reluctant to go out of camp； I developed proprietary claims to certain chairs and newspapers； I regularly drank three glasses of gin before dinner； never more or less； and …went to bed immediately after the nine o'clock news。 I was always awake and fretful an hour before reveille。
Here …my last love died … There was nothing remarkable in the manner of its death。 One day； not long before 'this last day in camp； as I lay awake before reveille； in the Nissen hut； gazing into the plete blackness； amid the deep breathing and muttering of the four other occupants； turning over in my mind what I had to do that day … had I put in the names of two corporals for the weapon…training course？ Should I again have the largest number of men overstaying their leave in the batch due back that day？ Could I trust Hooper to take the candidates class out map…reading？ … as I lay in that dark hour； I was aghast to realize that something within me； long sickening； had quietly died； and felt as a husband might feel； who； in the fourth year of his marriage； suddenly knew that he had no longer any desire； or tenderness； or esteem； for a once…beloved wife； no pleasure in her pany； no wish to please； no curiosity about anything she might ever do or say or think； no hope of setting things right； no self…reproach for the disaster。 I knew it all； the whole drab pass of marital disillusion； we had been through it together； the Army and I； from the first importunate courtship until now； when nothing remained to us except the chill bonds of law and duty and custom。 I had played every scene in the domestic tragedy； had found the early tiffs bee more frequent； the tears less affecting； the reconciliations less sweet； till they engendered a mood of aloofness and cool criticism； and the growing conviction that it was not myself but the loved one who was at fault。 I caught the false notes in her voice and learned to listen for them apprehensively； I recognized the blank； resentful stare of inprehension in her eyes； and the selfish； hard set of the ers of her mouth。 I learned her； as one must learn a woman one has kept house with； day in； day out； for three and a half years； I learned her slatternly ways； the routine and mechanism of her charm her jealousy and self…seeking and her nervous trick with the fingers when she was lying。 She was stripped of all enchantment now and I knew her for an uncongenial stranger to whom I had bound myself indissolubly in a moment of folly。
So； on this morning of our move； I was entirely indifferent to our destination。 I would go on with my job； but I could bring to it nothing more than acquiescence。 Our orders were to entrain at 0915 hours at a nearby siding； taking in the haversack the unexpired portion of the day's ration； that was all I needed to know。 The pany second…in…mand had gone on with a small advance party。 pany stores had been packed the day before。 Hooper had been detailed to inspect the lines。 The pany was parading at 0730 hours with their kit…bags piled before the huts。 There had been many such moves since the wildly exhilarating morning in 1940 when we had erroneously believed ourselves destined for the defence of Calais。 Three or four times a year since then we had changed our location； this time our new manding officer was making an unusual display of 'security' and had even put us to the trouble of removing all distinguishing badges from our uniforms and transport。 It was 'valuable training in active service conditions'； he said。 'If I find any of these female camp followers waiting for us the other end； I'll know there's been a leakage。'
The smoke from the cook…houses drifted away in the mist and the camp lay； revealed as a planless maze of short…cuts； super…imposed Oh the unfinished housing…scheme as though disinterred at a much later date by a party of archaeologists。
'The Pollock diggings provide a valuable link between the citizen…slave munities of the twentieth century and the tribal anarchy which succeeded them。 Here you see people of advanced culture； capable of an elaborate draining system and the construction of permanent highways； over…run by a race of the lowest type。'
Thus； I thought； the pundits of the future might write； and； turning away； I greeted the pany sargeant…major： 'Has Mr Hooper been round？'
'Haven't seen him at all this morning； Sir。'
We went to the dismantled pany office； where I found a window newly broken since the barrack…damages book was pleted。 'Wind…in…the…night； Sir；' said the Sergeant…Major。
（All breakages were thus attributable or 'to 'Sappers'…demonstration； Sir。'）
Hooper appeared； he was a sallow youth with hair bed back； without parting； from his forehead； and a flat； Midland accent； he had been in the pany two months。
The troops did not like Hooper because he knew too little about his work and would sometimes 'address them individually as 'George' at stand…easies； but I had a feeling which almost amounted to affection for him； largely by reason of an incident on his first evening in mess。
The new colonel had been with us less than a week at the time and we had not yet taken his measure。 He had been standing rounds of gin in the ante…room and was slightly boisterous when he first took notice of Hooper。
That young officer is one of yours； isn't he； Ryder？' he said to me。 'His hair wants cutting。
'It does； sir；' I said。 It did。 'I'll see that it's done。'
The colonel drank more gin and began to stare at Hooper； saying audibly； 'My God； the officers they send us now！'
Hooper seemed to obsess the colonel that evening。 After dinner he suddenly said very loudly： 'In my late regiment if a young officer turned up like that； the other subalterns would bloody well have cut his hair for him。'
No one showed any enthusiasm for this sport； and our lack of response seemed to inflame the colonel。 'You。' he said； turning to a decent boy in 'A' pany； 'go and get a pair of scissors and cut that young officer's hair for him。'
'Is that an order； sir？'
'It's your manding officer's wish and that's the best kind of order I know。'
'Very good； sir。'
And so； in an atmosphere of chilly embarrassment； Hooper sat in a chair while a few snips were made at the back of his head。 At the beginning of the operation I left the ante…room； and later apologized to Hooper for his reception。 'It's not the sort of thing that usually happens in this regiment；' I said。
'Oh； no hard feelings；' said Hooper。 'I can take a bit of sport。'
Hooper had no illusions about the Army … or rather no special illusions distinguishable from the general； enveloping fog from which he observed the universe。 He had e to it reluctantly； under pulsion； after he had made every feeble effort in his power to obtain deferment。 He accepted it； he said； 'like the measles'。 Hooper was no romantic。 He had not as a child ridden with Rupert's horse or sat among the camp fires at Xanthusside； at the age when my eyes were dry to all save poetry … that stoic； redskin interlude which our schools introduce between the fast…flowing tears of the child and the man … Hooper had wept often； but never for Henry's speech on St Crispin's day； nor for the epitaph at Thermopylae。 The history they taught him had had few battles in it but； instead； a profusion of detail about humane legislation and recent industrial change。 Gallipoli； Balaclava； Quebec； Lepanto； Bannockburn； Roncevales； and Marathon … these； and the Battle in the West where Arthur fell； and a hundred such names whose trumpet…notes； even now in my sere and lawless state； called to me irresistibly across the intervening years with all the clarity and strength of boyhood； sounded in vain to Hooper。
He seldom plained。 Though himself a man to whom one could not confidently entrust the simplest duty； he had an overmastering regard for efficiency and； drawing on his modest mercial experience； he would sometimes say of the ways of the Army in pay and supply and the use of 'man…hours'： 'They couldn't get away with that in business。'
He slept sound while I lay awake fretting。
In the weeks that we were together Hooper became a symbol me of Young England； so that whenever I read some public utterance proclaiming what Youth demanded in the Future and what the world owed to You