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ion paid no heed to。
He subsided for awhile； was lost to awareness。 Must have been slumped somewhere； finishing his cookies。 Probably with a leg thrown over a chair…arm； if he was in a chair at all。
He had known they were going over to the Michaelsons； and must have thought she had gone with them； that he was alone in the house。 The library was to the right of the stairs； and he had taken the left channel； to the pantry and return； hadn't e near here as yet； so he couldn't have known that she was in here。 The shaded lamp she was beside had a limited radius of reflection that did not reach past the room…doorway。
Suddenly his lithe footfalls were underway again； had remenced； the nibbling interlude at an end。 They struck out into the hail again； clarifying as they emerged from wherever it was he had been； rounded the bottom of the stairs； and turned in on this side。 They were ing straight toward here； toward this room she was unsuspectedly in。
She went ahead steadily reading； trapped by the mounting interest of the passage she had just entered upon； held fast。 Didn't even raise her eyes。
His tread reached the threshold。 Then it stopped short there； almost with a recoil。
For perhaps a moment he stood stock…still； looking at her。
Then； abruptly； he took an awkward step in retreat； a full step to the rear； turned； went away again。
It was almost subconsciously that she knew all this； not in full consciousness； at least not as yet。 It was there； clinging to her awareness； but it hadn't penetrated it as yet。
〃。 。 。〃 （Why did he turn and go away like that； when he saw me in here alone？） 〃。 。 。 and disposed themselves upon the fortable cushions。 。 。 。〃 （He intended ing in here。 He did e as far as the door。 Then when he saw that I was in here； and didn't seem to have seen him yet； he backed away。 Why？ Why was that？） 〃Axel Fersen took the reins。。。。〃
Slowly the spell of the book unravelled； disintegrated。 Her eyes left its pages for the first time。 She raised her head questioningly； still holding the book open before her。
Why？ Why did he do that？
It isn't that he was afraid of disturbing me。 We're all one family； we don't stand on ceremony like that with one another。 We all go from room to room as we like without a by…your…leave； except in the upstairs…rooms； and this isn't upstairs； this is down here。 He didn't even say hello。 When he saw that I didn't see him； he wanted it left that way； did his best to keep it that way； tried not to attract my attention。 Withdrew backward the first step； and only then turned around。
The front door had reopened； but without closing behind him。 He'd gone out front for a moment； to put the car away。 She heard the thump of its door as he shut it on himself； heard its gears mesh into motion。
Doesn't he like me？ Is that why he doesn't want to find himself alone in a room with me； when no one else is here？ Is he holding something against me？ I thought…it seemed…as if his full confidence had been given to me long ago； but…To balk like that； curb himself； almost swerve away； at the very threshold。
And then suddenly； quite simply； almost matter…of…factly； she knew。 It came to her。 Some indefinable something had told her。 Something that no word could explain。 Something too tenuous to bear the weight of any words。
No； it's not because he doesn't like me。 It's because he does like me； does like me； that he backed away like that； doesn't want to be in the room alone with me if he can avoid it。 Likes me too well。 Is already beginning to fall in love with me。 And…and thinks he shouldn't。 Is fighting it。 That hopeless； last…ditch fight that's never won。
Determinedly； but quite unhurriedly； she closed her book； carried it over to the gap from which she'd extracted it； pushed it in。 She left the lamp on for him （since he had seemed to want to e in here）； but quitted the room herself； left it to him； went out into the hall； went up the stairs and into her own room； closed the door of that for the night。
She undid her hair； brushed it for retiring。
She heard the rumble of the garage…doors； heard the padlock strike against them as he let it fall back to rest； heard him e into the house again。 He went straight back toward the library； and went in； this time unhesitatingly （to accost her now； to face it； to bring it out； his decision taken during those few minutes' breathing spell？）…to find it empty。 The lamp on； the reader gone。
Seconds later she remembered that she'd left her cigarette burning there； on the table； under the lamp； beside where she'd been sitting。 Had forgotten to pick it up when she came out。 It must be burning still； she'd only just lit it before she'd first heard the car drive up outside。
It wasn't that she was alarmed about possible damage。 He'd see it at a glance； and put it out for her。
But it would tell him。 For； just as he had intended ing in when he hadn't； it would reveal to him that she hadn't intended getting up and leaving when she had。
She not only knew； now； that he was beginning to love her； but； by token of that telltale cigarette； he knew that she knew。
24
In the light of the full…bodied moon the flower…garden at the back of the house was as bright as noon when she stepped out into it。 The sanded paths that ran around it foursquare； and through it like an X； gleamed like snow； and her shadow glided along them azure against their whiteness。 The little rock…pool in the center was polkadotted with silver disks； and the wafers coalesced and separated again as if in motion； though they weren't； as her point of perspective continually shifted with her rotary stroll。
The perfume of the rose…bushes was heavy on the June night； and sleepy little insects made a somnolent humming noise； as though they were talking in their sleep。
She hadn't wanted to sleep yet； and she hadn't wanted to read； it was too close in the library with the lamp on。 She hadn't wanted to sit alone on the front porch any longer； once Mother and Father Hazzard had left her and gone up to their room。 She'd gone up a moment and looked in at Hughie； to see if he was all right； and then she'd e out here。 To the flower…garden in the back； safely secluded behind its tall surrounding hedge。
Eleven struck melodiously from the little Reformed church over on Beechwood Drive； and the echoes lingered in the still air； filling her with a sense of peace and well…being。
A quiet voice； seeming to e from just over her shoulder； said： 〃Hello； I thought that was you down there； Patrice。〃
She turned； startled； and couldn't locate him for a minute。 He was above her； perched edgewise on the sill of his open window。
〃Mind if I e down and join you for a cigarette？〃
〃I'm going in now；〃 she said hastily； but he'd already disappeared。
He stepped down from the back porch and the moonlight sifted over his head and shoulders like talcum as he came toward her。 She turned in pany with him； and they walked slowly on together side by side。 Once all around the outside path； and then once through a bisecting middle one。
She reached out and touched a flower once in passing； bent it a little toward her； then let it sway back again undamaged。 A fullblown white rose； the perfume was almost like a bombshell in their faces for a moment。
He didn't even do that much； didn't do anything。 Didn't say anything。 Just walked beside her。 One hand slung in his pocket。 Looking steadily down； as though the sight of the path fascinated him。
〃I hate to tear myself away； it's so lovely down here；〃 she said at last。
〃I don't give a hang about gardens；〃 he answered almost gruffly。 〃Nor walking in them。 Nor the flowers in them。 You know why I came down here。 Do I have to tell you？〃
He flung his cigarette down violently； backhand； with the same gesture as if something had angered him。
Suddenly she was acutely frightened。 She'd stopped short。
〃No； wait； Bill。 Bill； wait… Don't…〃
〃Don't what？ I haven't said anything yet But you know already； don't you？ I'm sorry； Patrice； I've got to tell you。 You've got to listen。 It's got to e out。〃
She was holding out her hand protestingly toward him； as if trying to ward off something。 She took a backward step away； broke their proximity。
〃I don't like it；〃 he said rebelliously。 〃It does things to me that are new。 I was never bothered before。 I never even had the sweetheart…crushes that they all do。 I guess that was my way to be。 But this is it； Patrice。 This is it now； all right。〃
〃No； wait… Not now。 Not yet。 This isn't the time…〃
〃This is the time； and this is the night； and this is the place。 There'll never be another night like this； not if we both live to be a hundred。 Patrice； I love you； and I want you to ma…〃
〃Bill！〃 she pleaded； terrified。
〃Now you've heard it； and now you're running away。 Patrice；〃 he asked forlornly； 〃what's so terrible about it？〃
She'd gained the lower…porch step； was poised on it for a moment in arrested ifight He came after her slowly； in a sort of acquiescent frustration； rather than in importunate haste。
〃I'm no lover；〃 he said。 〃I can't say it right…〃
〃Bill；〃 she said again； almost grief…strickenly。
〃Patrice； I see you every day and…〃 He flung his arms apart helplessly； 〃W