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'For some reason；' Barbara said； 'you don't strike me as a devoutly religious man。'
'I'm not。 Michelle took the kids to Sunday School and church every week； but I didn't go。 It was the one thing I didn't share with them。'
'Hostile to religion？'
'No。 Just no passion for it； no interest。 I was always as indifferent to God as He seemed to be to me。 After the crash。。。 I took the one step left in my 〃spiritual journey〃 from disinterest to disbelief。 There's no way to reconcile the idea of a benign god with what happened to everyone on that plane。。。 and to those of us who're going to spend the rest of our lives missing them。'
'Then if you're such an atheist； why do you insist on believing in this miracle？'
'I'm not saying Rose Tucker's survival was a miracle。'
'Damned if I can see what else it would be。 Nothing but God Himself and a rescue team of angels could have pulled her out of that in one piece；' Barbara insisted with a note of sarcasm。
'No divine intervention。 There's another explanation； something amazing but logical。'
'Impossible；' she said stubbornly。
'Impossible？ Yeah； well。 。 so was everything that happened in the cockpit with Captain Blane。'
She held his gaze while she searched for an answer in the deep and orderly files of her mind。 She was not able to find one。
Instead； she said； 'If you don't believe in anything…then what is it that you expect Rose to tell you？ You say that what she tells them 〃lifts them up。〃 Don't you imagine it's got to be something of a spiritual nature？'
'Not necessarily。'
'What else would it be？'
'I don't know。'
Repeating Joe's own words heavily coloured with exasperation； she said； 〃Something amazing but logical。〃
He looked away from her； toward the trees along the northern edge of the field； and he realized that in the fire…blasted aspen cluster was a sole survivor； reclothed in foliage。 Instead of the characteristic smooth pale trunk； it had scaly black bark； which would provide a dazzling contrast when its leaves turned brilliant yellow in the autumn。
'Something amazing but logical；' he agreed。
Closer than ever； lightning laddered down the sky； and the boom of thunder descended rung to rung。
'We better go；' Barbara said。 'There's nothing more here； anyway。'
Joe followed her down through the meadow； but he paused again at the rim of the impact crater。
The few times that he had gone to meetings of The passionate Friends； he had heard other grieving parents speak of the Zero Point。 The Zero Point was the instant of the child's death； from which every future event would be dated； the eye blink during which crushing loss reset your internal gauges to zero。 It was the moment at which your shabby box of hopes and wants … which had once seemed to be such a fabulous chest of bright dreams…was turned on end and emptied into an abyss； leaving you with zero expectations。 In a clock tick； the future was no longer a kingdom of possibility and wonder； but a yoke of obligation…and only the unattainable past offered a hospitable place to live。
He had existed at the Zero Point for more than a year； with time receding from him in both directions； belonging to neither the days ahead nor those behind。 It was as though he had been suspended in a tank of liquid nitrogen and lay deep in cryogenic slumber。
Now he stood at another Zero Point； the physical one； where his wife and daughters had perished。 He wanted so badly to have them back that the wanting tore like eagle's claws at his viscera。 But at last he wanted something else as well： justice for them； justice which could not give meaning to their deaths but which might give meaning to his。
He had to get all the way up from his cryogenic bed； shake the ice out of his bones and veins； and not lie down again until he had dug the truth out of the grave in which it had been buried。 For his lost women； he would burn palaces； pull down empires； and waste the world if necessary for the truth to be found。
And now he understood the difference between justice and mere vengeance： genuine justice would bring him no relief of his pain； no sense of triumph； it would only allow him to step out of the Zero Point and； with his task pleted； die in peace。
Down through the vaulted conifers came fluttering white wings of storm light； and again； and still more； as if the cracking sky were casting out a radiant multitude。 Thunder and the rush of wind beat like pinions at Joe's ears； and by the many thousands； feathered shadows swooped and shuddered between the tree trunks and across the forest floor。
Just as he and Barbara reached her Ford Explorer at the weedy end of the narrow dirt lane； a great fall of rain hissed and roared through the pines。 They piled inside； their hair and faces jewelled； and her periwinkle…blue blouse was spattered with spots as dark as plum skin。
They didn't encounter whatever had frightened the deer from cover； but Joe was pretty sure now that the culprit had been another animal。 In the run to beat the rain； he had sensed only wild things crouching…not the far deadlier threat of men。
Nevertheless； the crowding conifers seemed to provide ideal architecture for assassins。 Secret bowers； blinds； ambushments； green…dark lairs。
As Barbara started the Explorer and drove back the way they had e； Joe was tense。 Surveying the woods。 Waiting for the bullet。
When they reached the gravel road； he said； 'The two men that Blane named on the cockpit tape。
'Dr。 Blom and Dr。 Ramlock。'
'Have you tried to find out who they are； launched a search for them？'
'When I was in San Francisco； I was prying into Delroy Blane's background。 Looking for any personal problems that might have put him in a precarious psychological condition。 I asked his family and friends if they'd heard those names。 No one had。'
'You checked Blane's personal records； appointment calendars； his chequebook？'
'Yeah Nothing。 And Blane's family physician says he never referred his patient to any specialists with those names。 There's no physician； psychiatrist； or psychologist in the San Francisco area by those names。 That's as far as I carried it。 Because then I was awakened by those bastards in my hotel room； a pistol in my face； and told to butt out。'
To the end of the gravel road and onto the paved state route； where sizzling silver rain danced in a froth on the blacktop； Barbara fell into a troubled silence。 Her brow was creased； but not…Joe sensed…because the inclement weather required that she concentrate on her driving。
The lightning and thunder had passed。 Now the storm threw all its energy into wind and rain。
Joe listened to the monotonous thump of the windshield wipers。 He listened as well to the hard…driven drops snapping against the glass； which seemed at first to be a meaningless random rattle； but gradually he began to think that he perceived hidden patterns even in the rhythms of the rain。
Barbara found perhaps not a pattern but an intriguing puzzle piece that she had overlooked。 'I'm remembering something peculiar； but。。。
Joe waited。
'。。。but I don't want to encourage you in this weird delusion of yours。'
'Delusion？'
She glanced at him。 'This idea that there might have been a survivor。'
He said； 'Encourage me。 Encouragement isn't something I've had much of in the past year。'
She hesitated but then sighed。 'There was a rancher not far from here who was already asleep when Flight 353 went down。 People who work the land go to bed early in these parts。 The explosion woke him。 And then someone came to his door。'
'Who？'
'The next day； he called the county sheriff； and the sheriff's office put him in touch with the investigation mand centre。 But it didn't seem to amount to much。'
'Who came to his door in the middle of the night？'
'A witness；' Barbara said。
'To the crash？'
'Supposedly。'
She looked at him but then quickly returned her attention to the rain…swept highway。
In the context of what Joe had told her； this recollection seemed by the moment to grow more disturbing to Barbara。 Her eyes pinched at the corners； as if she were straining to see not through the downpour but more clearly into the past； and her lips pressed together as she debated whether to say more。
A witness to the crash；' Joe prompted。
I can't remember why； of all places； she went to this ranch house or what she wanted there。'
'She？'
'The woman who claimed to have seen the plane go down。'
'There's something more；' Joe said。
'Yeah。 As I recall 。 。 。 she was a black woman。'
His breath went stale in his lungs； but at last he exhaled and said； 'Did she give this rancher her name？'
'I don't know。'
'If she did； I wonder if he'd remember it。'
At the turnoff from the state route； the entrance road to the ranch was flanked by tall white posts that supported an overhead sign bearing graceful green letters on a white background： LOOSE CHANGE RANCH。 Under those three words； in smaller letters and in script： Jeff and Mercy Ealing。 The gate stood open。
The oiled…gravel lane was flanked by white ranch fencing that divid