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He followed her further and further away from South Sector。 The light dwindled。 She paused。 She didn't stop； only let him catch up。 She stayed in motion； latticed by shadows。
〃How did you find me？〃 he said。
She tsk'ed。 He was easy stalking。 And it wasn't her first time。 It rattled him。 She had watched him slouching on the border of light。 He felt foolish。
〃I e here to think；〃 he said。
She wouldn't quit moving。 She paced。 He had to twist in circles to follow her。
〃Why throw yourself away？〃 she said。
〃I'm not。〃
〃You want to。〃
〃Want；〃 he said bitterly。 〃Everything I want； I can't have。 I'm faking it。〃
〃It's stupid。〃 She was angry。 Her hand shoved at him。 He stumbled。
She started to push him again； but this time Nathan Lee caught her wrist。 It felt like he was falling or holding on for dear life。 Miranda could have jerked from his grip。 Instead； she pulled； but not to pull away。 She drew him in。
Later they would make a game of it； each accusing the other of stealing the first kiss。 Then they would take turns laying claim to it。 Then they would start over with each other all over again； telling and retelling their beginning until finally it felt woven into the myth of them。 All lovers do it； creating the world fresh around them。 The only difference is that some have less time for it than others。 And so they hurried to catch up with themselves。
27
Golgotha
OCTOBER
Someone snuck into the yard one night and hung a crucifix in a crook of the tree。 By the time Nathan Lee arrived in next morning； the yard was empty。 The damage was done。 Izzy stood by the tree。
〃The clones took one look and bolted for the door；〃 Izzy told him。 〃Now they won't e out。〃
Nathan Lee plucked the crucifix from the crook of branches。 The little figurine had its arms cast wide。 The culprit had been Catholic； or stolen it from one。 Protestants worshipped empty crosses； the transformation not the suffering。 〃Who would go to the trouble？〃 He held the thing in his hands。 〃And why？〃
〃Maybe it was meant as a gift；〃 said Izzy。 〃Or a token of their Lord's Prayer； to declare solidarity。 Modern Christian to primitive Christian。 Probably nothing malicious。〃
His mind had been full of Miranda； her lean body； her green eyes。 He didn't want the interference。 He tossed the crucifix into the fire。 〃Now what？〃
〃Let's just explain it to them；〃 Izzy wisecracked。 〃Boys； we've made a religion about a corpse nailed on wood。〃
They had discussed it before。 Even the primal Christians in the group wouldn't buy it。 The worship of the crucifixion hadn't evolved for many centuries after the early Church began。 The actual practice had needed to end before its adoration could begin。
〃They think it's an omen of things to e；〃 said Izzy。 〃If they had doubts before； they don't anymore。 This is hell。 They're in the hands of demons。〃
The supernatural world was utterly real to them。 Nathan Lee had heard it over and over in their testimonies to home。 Demons were to blame for everything； for the cold air； for stomach and headaches； for strange noises on the far side of the courtyard walls； for their captivity and the voices on their inters； for their bouts of depression and uncontrollable anger。 It was not something they could turn on and off。
There was a theory that consciousness； the idea of self； didn't develop until two or three thousand years ago。 To that point； the human brain hadn't been wired to distinguish between self and being。 The Year Zero clones straddled that psychological divide。 For them； or most of them； demons and spirits were everywhere。 The Bible talked aboutgo'el； or guardian spirits。 Dreams were alternate realities。 Their innermost thoughts were the voices of invisible creatures。 Back then…a hundred generations ago…people could look at a burning bush and believe they were hearing the voice of God。
〃We start over；〃 said Nathan Lee。
〃Why？〃 said Izzy。 〃Why put them through it again？ Maybe they're better off buried in their cells。〃
〃No；〃 said Nathan Lee。 〃They're not。〃
They tried to lead by example； walking past the clones' open cell doors。 〃You see？〃 Izzy told them； 〃It's safe。〃
〃No；〃 men insisted。 〃The demons are waiting for us。〃
Near the end of the day； as the shadows turned purple； Ben came out into the yard。 Nathan Lee was squatting by the fire。 A cold front was passing through。 The yard looked bleak； like an arena with its walls blackened with smoke。 Leaves swirled on the circular breeze。
Ben stood above him。 〃Where is that thing？〃 he asked。 He meant the cross。
Sparks rose among the pine boughs。 〃In the fire；〃 said Nathan Lee。 Part of it had fallen into the dirt。 He jabbed at it with a stick。 〃There。〃
〃Why aren't you afraid？〃
Nathan Lee reached for the words； something suitable to his role as a scribe。 〃God writes our life。〃
〃If we let Him；〃 Ben said。 Or perhaps he said； 〃Not if we don't let Him；〃 or something like that。 Nathan Lee's Aramaic was elementary。 Ben continued standing for another minute。 Then he hunkered beside Nathan Lee at the edge of the fire pit。 He found a stick of his own； and poked at the embers and flames。
Izzy appeared in the doorway and came hurrying over； his sandals flapping。 〃Here you are；〃 he said。
〃Here we are；〃 said Nathan Lee。 He motioned with his eyes for Izzy to join them。 Izzy took his station to one side。
Ben pointed his stick at Nathan Lee's missing toes。 〃They say you tried to escape；〃 he said。
〃Like you；〃 said Nathan Lee。 He gestured with his own stick at Ben's scars and the missing tip of his ear。
Ben grunted。 〃We're alike； I think。〃 The seams on his ripped face were purple from the cold； or the flames。 They lay on his skin like vines。
〃Two handsome men？〃 said Nathan Lee。
Another grunt。 〃That must be it；〃 Ben said。
Izzy looked from one to the other； trying to catch up with them。 Or slow down。 There was a rhythm here。 He waited。
〃I see you listening。 And listening；〃 Ben continued。 He plucked at sparks as if they were insects。 〃Once that was me。 Throwing my net in the air。 Pulling the stories from the wind。〃
Nathan Lee didn't say anything。 He let Ben draw himself out。 It was him who had searched Nathan Lee out； for some reason。
〃I used to gather stories； too；〃 he said。 〃From men like these。〃
〃Our poor brothers？〃 said Nathan Lee。
Ben's eyes glittered。 〃Damned men；〃 he said。 〃Men on their trees。〃
The crucifix。
〃At the age of fifteen； I left my family to go wandering；〃 said Ben。 〃You know how young men are。 Full of questions。 Impatient for the world。〃
〃Ask him；〃 Nathan Lee said in English。 〃Where did he go？〃 Time to bring Izzy into the loop。 He didn't want to miss the story。
Izzy made himself transparent。 He had bee the best of translators。 Their words flowed through him。
〃I roamed along the River；〃 said Ben。 〃I meandered south to the Dead Sea。 It took me years。 Along the way； I would stray for a week or a month； sometimes alone； sometimes working in a village。 There were many people on foot； going here and there。 Sometimes I would join one band or another。 I studied with Pharisees and Saduccees。 With heretics and pagans。 I saw magic。 Wandering Stoics shared their campfires。 A colony of Essenes took me in。 They fed me and taught me to read and write。 At the end of three years； I left them。 My teacher wanted me to stay。 He was angry； not without reason； I suppose。 But I had my own path to find。〃
He fell silent。 Nathan Lee added another log to the fire。 He poked it to a blaze。 〃What path？〃
〃Through the emptiest place I could find。 Into the desert；〃 Ben said； but he patted his heart。 〃It was a dangerous place； crawling with bandits and prophets and wild animals。 I thought such a bare land could not possibly hide the truth。 But I found no answers。 And so I climbed out from the valley。 I went up into the land of the damned。〃
Izzy finished quietly。 They waited some more。 When Ben spoke again； there was no need for translation。 〃Golgotha；〃 he said。
Nathan Lee felt his blood racing。 He glanced up at the walls； and every camera was trained on them。 He could almost see them through the lenses； three men perched by a fire melted into a parking lot。
〃Have you been there？〃 Ben asked lightly。
Nathan Lee met his eyes。 〃A long time ago。〃 He didn't offer details。
Ben went on。 〃I made it my home。〃
〃Jerusalem？〃
〃No；〃 said Ben。 〃In the garden。 Among the trees。〃
Golgotha？Nathan Lee was careful。 He kept his eyes on the fire。 What was Ben telling him？
〃I lived there for an entire year。 I slept in empty tombs that had been carved and were waiting for their wealthy owners。 When one was filled； I would find another。〃
〃You slept in tombs？〃
〃You couldn't stay in the open。 It was cold。 There were dogs。 I learned to sleep with stones near at hand。〃
〃To throw at the dogs？〃 asked Nathan Lee。 He remembered Asia。
Ben nodded。 〃And also at the women。 The widows and mothers of crucified men。 They were possessed by demons and roamed at night。 Even the soldiers were afraid of them。〃
The flames made images。 Resin hissed and snapped。
〃It was a different kind of wilderness；〃 Ben said。 He spoke in bursts。 〃Further along the path stood the walls of Jerusalem。 But you know that。〃 He stopp