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〃Space is a harsh mistress；〃 Odysseus said。 Irina could feel his words as well as hear them。 〃It draws you like a magnet； a siren； until you have no choice but to open up your soul to it。 And then 。 。 。〃 He put his head into her neck。 〃And then you step into the black water…the silence between the stars…and find that there is no bottom。 You disappear into that silence； only to find that it isn't silence at all； but a riot of munication you have been too dull…witted to prehend。〃
She felt his teeth on her flesh； his words in her ears in exactly the same way。 〃Immersed in a thunder of munication； your sense of humanness slips away； its importance diminishing to a point on the new horizon。 Now prehension is all that matters； understanding and being understood。 An end to isolation； a chance to bee one with the angels。〃
Irina was dizzy with sensation。 The sensuality of his body was bining with that peculiar silent munication of his to create a whirlpool toward which she was being all too willingly drawn。 Concentric circles 6f reality/time/energy seemed to surround her； pulsing in the darkness of the pool； heating the water she swam in； the air she breathed。 Oxygen was being forced into her lungs as if through a bellows； there was a singing in her blood instead of a pulse。
The world disappeared。
In its place Irina hung suspended like a star in the blackest of heavens。 And there was Odysseus； beside her； part of her； in her。
Sliding in as easily as if he had always been there。 Irina； filling up with him； felt the moat disappear； the wall of glass dissolving。 An end to isolation； a chance to bee one with the angels。 Her own isolation was at an end； as if her making love to the Hero was more than a physical act； as if it were emotional； as well as symbolic。 She had at last found the strength to embrace something with every cell of herself； unequivocally； unreservedly； accepting it all； wanting it all； the good and the bad； the light and the darkness； because she was no longer terrified of the darkness inside herself； because in embracing Odysseus； she was also accepting all of herself； even the part that she had hated； feared； had tried for so long to disown。
Her breasts crushed against him； her erect nipples brushing his smooth； smooth flesh； her arms surrounding him； feeling the odd shape of his curved back； but not being afraid； accepting that as part of him。
Her eyes opened to watch his face lovingly； startled when his amazing eyes opened and she stared into their pewter depths； seeing behind them the images in which he had been immersed ever since the event in the nonsilence between the stars。 Irina saw what he saw； felt what he felt。 She was aware of their two hearts； beating in unison…surely an illusion…the ticking of a cosmic clock in the dark sea of reality/time/energy。
Her muscles were tensed as her hips moved； as her breath came in hot； excited spurts； but beneath that her bones had turned to liquid； as if she has been somehow transformed from human being into a creature of another design； as if the places where her bones were had been turned into conduits； filled with an alien fluid pulsing with the beat of their two hearts。
And in that shocked instant； when her hips speeded up but felt heavy with lust and longing； Irina saw/knew/sensed what it was that Odysseus had encountered in the space between the stars； the entity that had given him the tantalizing glimpse of its world/time/reality： a double…pumped engine like a heart； liquid 〃bones〃 beneath muscle as hard as a carapace； sense organs in a star…shaped cluster in what might be called a head； but with a body shape that was inprehensible because it slipped back and forth between two and three dimensions。
Odysseus was not mad…or perhaps he was mad； and she was mad as well。 But if so； then this madness was a state of grace； and Irina was grateful that it had e to her。
This thought exploded in her mind like lightning as her body spasmed； as the Него exploded inside her； so deep that she felt him hard against her inner core； and this set her off again； moaning and thrashing against him； hearing his own deep…felt groan in her mind as well as in her ears。
Ripples； black in the starless darkness that immersed them； held them fast； protected them from everyone and everything； purled outward from the engine of their bodies； filling the water's surface with purpose。
At the other end of the pool； Arbat floated； still； silent； feeling the ripples wash endlessly against her； happy because the Hero was happy； content because the Него was content。
After a very long time Odysseus slipped from Irina's warmth； but； strangely； she did not feel the emptiness； the sting of sadness she usually did at that moment。 She was left with the image of what she had been exposed to； what she had bee。 She reached out； touched him； wondering if； instead of calcium； there was fluid running in the conduits of his bones。
Odysseus laughed。 〃Not yet；〃 he said； reading her mind。 〃Though maybe one day。〃
Irina was still trembling。 Waves of emotion rippled through her； but it could not dissolve the dark undercurrent that left a bitter taste in her mouth。 And she thought； I've lied to Valeri； to Mars； even to Natasha。 I cannot lie to him。 She clamped down on her dread of the repercussions； said； 〃Actually； Mars did want me to find out something。''
The Hero was silent。 Arbat moved closer； watched Irina with a peculiar； disconcerting intensity。
Irina swallowed hard。 In sudden panic； she wanted to turn back time； but instead she pressed on。 〃He wanted to know where you got some papers you showed him； a top…secret file。〃 Watching Odysseus； she held her breath。 She could feel the blood pounding in her temples。 〃Are you angry with me？〃
〃On the contrary；〃 Odysseus said； 〃I'm grateful you told me。〃
Irina put her hands on him。 〃It was wicked of me not to tell you right away。〃
〃Was it？〃
''I don't want to ever lie to you。''
He smiled。 〃That's a wonderful ambition。〃 He said it as if he meant 〃impossible；〃 instead of 〃wonderful。〃
〃I want…〃 She stopped abruptly； marshalling her thoughts。 〃I need someone I can trust； someone I can confide in。〃。
〃You mean rade Volkov isn't the one？〃
This is it； Irina thought。 I want to…I must tell him。 I know he will understand。 And； taking a deep breath； she stepped off the edge of her world。
〃I have spent some time in America； Boston；〃 she said。 〃The Cambridge area is filled with students from many wonderful universities。 I got drunk on the atmosphere and the variety of opinions。 At least I thought I was drunk。 But when I came home； and sobered up； I realized that I had left a piece of myself in Cambridge。 I had fallen hopelessly in love。 Can one fall in love with a place？ Why not？ But ever since； that love has been like a stone in my heart。〃 Drifting。 Arbat close； listening it seemed； too。 〃Now I know just how Shakespeare's Juliet must have felt。 Love and pain are sometimes inseparable。〃
〃Yes；〃 Odysseus said。 〃It is true that sometimes memories hurt。 Memories of paths not taken； memories of what might have been。''
Irina watched the play of light across his face； tiny crescent reflections off the surface of the water。 She could not decide whether she saw the sadness in his face or felt it emanating from him。 After a time she said； 〃Are you here of your own free will？〃
〃That sounds like a metaphysical question；〃 he said。 〃I don't know if I 'm qualified to answer it。〃
She cocked her head inquisitively； she was getting the knack of manipulating silences。
〃The question of free will is an important one；〃 Odysseus said carefully。 〃We all may believe that there is free will； but I doubt now that it's the case。 We are…have bee…what we have been made into； what has been implanted in us in an unconscious； a subliminal sense at a very early age。 And； as adults； the way in which we respond to people and to situations is determined by the nature of that subliminal information we may not even know is there。''
As he spoke； Irina felt a tiny shiver race down her； and she sought to be closer to him； as if so near his presence she could beat back the unpleasant truth that seemed so unfortably near now。 She had seemed so close to freedom when he was inside her； but now the old sad Irina was trying to reassert herself。 Don't think about it； she told herself。
〃I wonder；〃 Odysseus said； 〃whether you hold me as you hold all your men？''
〃Are you jealous of Mars already？〃 Irina said。 She had meant it humorously； a light touch to a conversation pulling her ever deeper into the heart of her own darkness。
〃Jealousy has nothing to do with it；〃 Odysseus said。
〃Of course。 One of my men is KGB。''
〃Yes。〃
〃You know？〃 Irina was startled。
''The KGB knows many things；'' Odysseus said。 ''But I know more。'' His eyes were light； she could see pinpoints dancing in their depths。 ''I know how we are joined。 There can be no deceit in such openness； just as there can be no duplication of it with another。 No； Irina； I am not threatened。 But I am concerned by your dependence on men。〃
''What are you talking about？'' But her heartbeat； out of sync with his； accelerated painfully； as if she already knew what he would say。