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s with other panies。 The other seven men all knew。 Some of their wives； too。 She could see it in their eyes。 In only two of the men could she see any sympathy。 David and Nevada Smith。
David she could understand。 But she did not understand why Nevada should feel sorry for her。 He scarcely knew her。 He had always seemed so quiet； even shy； when they met at the studio。 But now there was a wild sort of anger deep in his black Indian eyes as he looked from her to Dan Pierce。
Thirteen men； she thought and all but one of them knew her for what she'd been。 And the thirteenth was the unlucky one。 He was going to marry her。 She felt a light touch on her arm。 Rosa's voice broke the silence that threatened to engulf her。 〃I think it's about time we went to the little girl's room。〃
Jennie nodded dumbly and followed her from the table silently。 She could feel the eyes of other diners following her。 Without even returning their glances； she recognized several other men she had known and saw their wise； knowing smiles。 She began to feel sick。 Rosa drew the curtain in front of the small alcove in the corner as Jennie sank silently onto the couch。 Rosa lit a cigarette and handed it to her。
Jennie looked up at her； the cigarette in her fingers already forgotten。 The tears started to e into her eyes。 〃Why？〃 she asked in a hurt； bewildered voice。 〃I don't understand。 What did I ever do to him？〃
She began to cry silently as Rosa sat down beside her and drew her head down to her shoulder。
Dan Pierce chuckled to himself as he threaded his way to his car through the dark and deserted parking lot。 Wait until he told the story in the locker room at Hillcrest tomorrow morning。 The men would laugh their heads off。 None of them really liked Jonas； anyway。
True； they tolerated him。 But they didn't accept him。 There was a difference。 They all respected Jonas' success but they wouldn't lift a finger to help him。 Not like they would for Dan Pierce if he needed their help； which he didn't。 He was one of them； he'd grown up in the business with them。 They had their rules。 They stuck together。
Wait until he told them how the broad looked。 Like she was ready to sink through the floor； while all the time； Jonas stood there like a shmuck； smiling and thinking how nice everybody was。 It would break them up。
A dark figure suddenly appeared out of the shadows in front of him。 He peered anxiously through the darkness as it silently came closer。 〃Oh； it's you； Nevada。 I didn' know who it was。〃
Nevada stood there silently。
Dan laughed aloud as he remembered。 〃Wasn' that a bitch； though？〃 He chortled； reaching out a hand toward Nevada to steady himself。 〃I thought she'd bust when she opened the case and saw the razors。 An' Jonas； the jerk； he don' even know what he's gettin' into… 〃
Dan's voice suddenly choked off in a grunt of pain as Nevada sank his fist into his belly。 He fell back against a car； clutching at it to hold himself up。 He stared at Nevada。 〃Wha' you go an' do that for？〃 he asked in a hurt voice。 〃We're ol' buddies。〃
He saw Nevada's hand ing toward his face and tried to duck。 He wasn't quick enough and felt the pain explode in his eyes。 Again the hammer tore into his belly： He bent over； retching； and another blow on the side of his face sent him sprawling into his own vomit。 He looked up at Nevada with frightened eyes。
It was not until then that Nevada spoke； and an icy fear came up and clutched at Dan's heart。 〃I should've done this a long time ago；〃 Nevada said； looking down at him。 〃I oughta kill you。 But you ain't worth goin' to the gas chamber for。〃
He turned his back contemptuously and walked away。 Dan waited until the sound of the high…heeled boots faded away。 Then he put his face down on his hands against the cold concrete。 〃It was only a joke；〃 he cried drunkenly。 〃It was only a joke。〃
Jonas followed Jennie into the darkened house。 〃You're tired；〃 he said gently； looking down at her white face。 〃It's been a big night。 Go on up to bed。 I'll see you tomorrow。〃
〃No；〃 she said flatly。 She knew what she had to do。 She turned and walked into the living room； switching on the light。 He followed her curiously。
She turned； slipping the ring from her finger； and held it out to him。 He looked at it； then at her。 〃Why？〃 he asked。 〃Is it because of anything I did tonight？〃
She shook her head。 〃No；〃 she said quickly。 〃It has nothing to do with you at all。 Just take the ring； please。〃
〃I'm entitled to know why； Jennie。〃
〃I don't love you；〃 she said。 〃Is that reason enough？〃
〃Not now it isn't。〃
〃Then I have a better reason；〃 she said tightly。 〃Before I made that screen test； I was the highest…priced whore in Hollywood。〃
He stared at her for a moment。 〃I don't believe you；〃 he said slowly。 〃You couldn't have fooled me。〃
〃You're a fool；〃 she said sharply。 〃If you don't believe me； ask Bonner or any of the other four men at the table who laid me。 Or any of a dozen other men I saw in the restaurant tonight。〃
〃I still don't believe you；〃 he said in a low voice。
She laughed。 〃Then ask Bonner why Pierce gave me that present。 There wasn't any mix…up； he meant the razors for me。 The story was all over Hollywood； the morning after Bonner left here。 How I shaved all the hair off his body； then blew him in a bathtub filled with champagne。〃
He began to look sick。
〃And why do you think I asked you to let me do Aphrodite？〃 she continued。 〃Not because I thought it was any good。 It was to pay Pierce off for this。〃 She walked quickly to the desk and took out two small reels of film。 She spun one out at him； the film unwinding from the reel like a roll of confetti。 〃My first starring role；〃 she said sarcastically。 〃A pornographic picture。〃
She took a cigarette from the box on the desk and lit it。 She turned back to him。 Her voice was quieter now。 〃Or maybe you're the kind of man who enjoys being married to that kind of woman； so that every time you meet another man； you can wonder。 Did he or didn't he？ When； where and how？〃
He took a step toward her。 〃That's over now。 It doesn't matter。〃
〃It doesn't？ Just because I was a fool for a moment； you don't have to be。 How much of tonight do you think you'd have been able to take if you'd known what you know now？〃
〃But I love you！〃
〃You even kid yourself about that。 You don't love me。 You never have。 You're in love with a memory。 The memory of a girl who preferred your father to you。 The first chance you had； you tried to make me over in her image。 Even in bed … the things you wanted me to do。 Did you really think I was so naive I didn't know those were the things she did to you？〃
The ring was still in her hand。 She put it on the table in front of him。 〃Here；〃 she said。
He stared down at the ring。 The diamond seemed to shoot angry sparks at him。 He looked up at her； his face lined and drawn。 〃Keep it；〃 he said curtly and walked out。
She stood there until she heard his car pull out of the driveway。 Then she turned out the light and walked upstairs； leaving the ring on the table and the film； like confetti after a party； on the floor。
She lay wide…eyed on her bed staring up into the night。 If she could only cry she would feel better。 But she was empty inside； eaten away by her sins。 There was nothing left for her to give anyone。 She had used up her ration of love。
Once； long ago； she had loved and been loved。 But Tom Denton was dead； lost forever； beyond recall。
She cried out into the darkness； 〃Daddy； help me！ Please！ I don't know what to do。〃
If she could only go back and begin again。 Back to the familiar Sunday smell of corned beef and cabbage； to the gentle sound of a whispered morning Mass in her ears； to the sisters and the hospital； to the inner satisfaction of being a part of God's work。
Then her father's voice came whispering to her out of the gray light of the morning； 〃Do you really want to go； Jennie Bear？〃
She lay very still for a moment thinking； remembering。 Was that time forever gone？ If she were to withhold from confession that part of her life which no longer seemed to belong to her it need not be。 They would not know。 It was her one real transgression。 The rest of her life they already knew about。
To do so would be a sin。 A sin of omission。 It would invalidate any future confession that she might make。 But she had so much to give and without giving it she was denying not only herself but others who would have need of her help。 Which was the greater sin？ For a moment she was frightened； then decided that this was a matter between her and her Maker。 The decision was hers； and she alone could be held responsible； both now and at any future time。
Suddenly she made her mind up and she was no longer afraid。
〃Yes； Daddy；〃 she whispered。
His soft voice came echoing back on the wind。 〃Then get dressed； Jennie； and I'll go with you。〃
16
IT WAS ALMOST TWO YEARS FROM THE NIGHT OF THE PARTY BEFORE ROSA HEARD FROM JENNIE AGAIN。 It was almost six months from the time she received the dreaded impersonal message from the War Department that David had been killed at the Anzio beachhead in May of 1944。
No more dreams； no more big deals； no more struggles and plans to build a giant monume