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saw the police cruiser slide slowly by。
The blind man was in the back seat； the neck of his guitar poking up beside him。
As the cruiser swung into one of the outbound lanes； the blind man abruptly turned his head and looked out the back window； looked directly at Jack 。 。 。
。 。 。 and although Jack could not see through the dirty dark glasses； he knew perfectly well that Lester 'Speedy' Parker had winked at him。
2
Jack managed to keep further thought at bay until he reached the turnpike ramps again。 He stood looking at the signs； which seemed the only clear…cut things left in a world
（worlds？）
where all else was a maddening gray swirl。 He felt a dark depression swirling all around him； sinking into him； trying to destroy his resolve。 He recognized that homesickness played a part in this depression； but this feeling made his former homesickness seem boyish and callow indeed。 He felt utterly adrift； without a single firm thing to hold on to。
Standing by the signs； watching the traffic on the turnpike； Jack realized he felt damn near suicidal。 For quite a while he had been able to keep himself going with the thought that he would see Richard Sloat soon （and； although he had hardly admitted the thought to himself； the idea that Richard might head west with him had done more than cross Jack's mind…after all； it would not be the first time that a Sawyer and a Sloat had made strange journeys together； would it？）； but the hard work at the Palamountain farm and the peculiar happenings at the Buckeye Mall had given even that the false glitter of fool's gold。
Go home； Jacky； you're beaten； a voice whispered。 If you keep on； you're going to end up getting the living shit kicked out of you 。 。 。 and next time it may be fifty people that die。 Or five hundred。
I…70 East。
I…70 West。
Abruptly he fished in his pocket for the coin…the coin that was a silver dollar in this world。 Let whatever gods there were decide this； once and for all。 He was too beaten to do it for himself。 His back still smarted where Mr。 All…America had whacked him。 e up tails； and he would go down the eastbound ramp and head home。 e up heads； he would go on 。 。 。 and there would be no more looking back。
He stood in the dust of the soft shoulder and flicked the coin into the chilly October air。 It rose； turning over and over； kicking up glints of sun。 Jack craned his head to follow its course。
A family passing in an old station…wagon stopped squabbling long enough to look at him curiously。 The man driving the wagon； a balding C。P。A。 who sometimes awoke in the middle of the night fancying that he could feel shooting pains in his chest and down his left arm； had a sudden and absurd series of thoughts： Adventure。 Danger。 A quest of some noble purpose。 Dreams of fear and glory。 He shook his head； as if to clear it； and glanced at the boy in the wagon's rear…view mirror just as the kid leaned over to look at something。 Christ； the balding C。P。A。 thought。 Get it out of your head； Larry； you sound like a fucking boys' adventure book。
Larry shot into traffic； quickly getting the wagon up to seventy； forgetting about the kid in the dirty jeans by the side of the road。 If he could get home by three； he'd be in good time to watch the middleweight title fight on ESPN。
The coin came down。 Jack bent over it。 It was heads 。 。 。 but that was not all。
The lady on the coin wasn't Lady Liberty。 It was Laura DeLoessian； Queen of the Territories。 But God； what a difference here from the pale； still； sleeping face he had glimpsed for a moment in the pavillion； surrounded by anxious nurses in their billowing white wimples！ This face was alert and aware； eager and beautiful。 It was not a classic beauty； the line of the jaw was not clear enough for that； and the cheekbone which showed in profile was a little soft。 Her beauty was in the regal set of her head bined with the clear sense that she was kind as well as capable。
And oh it was so like the face of his mother。
Jack's eyes blurred with tears and he blinked them hard； not wanting the tears to fall。 He had cried enough for one day。 He had his answer； and it was not for crying over。
When he opened his eyes again； Laura DeLoessian was gone； the woman on the coin was Lady Liberty again。
He had his answer all the same。
Jack bent over； picked up the coin out of the dust； put it in his pocket； and headed down the westbound ramp of Interstate 70。
3
A day later； white overcast in the air that tasted of chilly rain on its way； the Ohio…Indiana border not much more than a lick and a promise from here。
'Here' was in a scrub of woods beyond the Lewisburg rest area on I…70。 Jack was standing concealed…he hoped…among the trees； patiently waiting for the large bald man with the large bald voice to get back into his Chevy Nova and drive away。 Jack hoped he would go soon； before it started to rain。 He was cold enough without getting wet； and all morning his sinuses had been plugged； his voice foggy。 He thought he must finally be getting a cold。
The large bald man with the large bald voice had given his name as Emory W。 Light。 He had picked Jack up around eleven o'clock； north of Dayton； and Jack had felt a tired sinking sensation in the pit of his belly almost at once。 He had gotten rides with Emory W。 Light before。 In Vermont Light had called himself Tom Ferguson； and said he was a shoe…shop foreman； in Pennsylvania the alias had been Bob Dar…rent （'Almost like that fellow who sang 'Splish…Splash；' ah…ha…hah…hah'）； and the job had changed to District High School Superintendent； this time Light said he was President of the First Mercantile Bank of Paradise Falls； in the town of Paradise Falls； Ohio。 Ferguson had been lean and dark； Dar…rent as portly and pink as a freshly tubbed baby； and this Emory W。 Light was large and owlish； with eyes like boiled eggs behind his rimless glasses。
Yet all of these differences were only superficial； Jack had found。 They all listened to the Story with the same breathless interest。 They all asked him if he had had any girlfriends back home。 Sooner or later he would find a hand （a large bald hand） lying on his thigh； and when he looked at Ferguson/Darrent/Light； he would see an expression of half…mad hope in the eyes （mixed with half…mad guilt） and a stipple of sweat on the upper lip （in the case of Darrent； the sweat had gleamed through a dark moustache like tiny white eyes peering through scant underbrush）。
Ferguson had asked him if he would like to make ten dollars。
Darrent had upped that to twenty。
Light； in a large bald voice that nonetheless cracked and quivered through several registers； asked him if he couldn't use fifty dollars…he always kept a fifty in the heel of his left shoe； he said； and he'd just love to give it to Master Lewis Farren。 There was a place they could go near Randolph。 An empty barn。
Jack did not make any correlation between the steadily increasing monetary offers from Light in his various incarnations and any changes his adventures might be working on him…he was not introspective by nature and had little interest in self…analysis。
He had learned quickly enough how to deal with fellows like Emory W。 Light。 His first experience with Light； when Light had been calling himself Tom Ferguson； had taught him that discretion was by far the better part of valor。 When Ferguson put his hand on Jack's thigh； Jack had responded automatically out of a California sensibility in which gays had been merely part of the scenery： 'No thanks； mister。 I'm strictly A。C。'
He had been groped before； certainly…in movie theaters； mostly； but there had been the men's…shop clerk in North Hollywood who had cheerfully offered to blow him in a changing booth （and when Jack told him no thanks； the clerk said； 'Fine； now try on the blue blazer； okay？'）。
These were annoyances a good…looking twelve…year…old boy in Los Angeles simply learned to put up with； the way a pretty woman learns to put up with being groped occasionally on the subway。 You eventually find a way to cope without letting it spoil your whole day。 The deliberate passes； such as the one this Ferguson was making； were less of a problem than the sudden gropes from ambush。 They could simply be shunted aside。
At least in California they could。 Eastern gays…especially out here in the sticks…apparently had a different way of dealing with rejection。
Ferguson had e to a screeching； sliding halt； leaving forty yards of rubber behind his Pontiac and throwing a cloud of shoulder…dust into the air。
'Who you calling D。C。？' he screamed。 'Who you calling queer？ I'm not queer！ Jesus！ Give a kid a fucking ride and he calls you a fucking queer！'
Jack was looking at him； dazed。 Unprepared for the sudden stop； he had thumped his head a damned good one on the padded dash。 Ferguson； who had only a moment before been looking at him with melting brown eyes； now looked ready to kill him。
'Get out！' Ferguson yelled。 'You're the queer； not me！ You're the queer！ Get out； you little queerboy！ Get out！ I've got a wife！ I've got kids！ I've probably got bastards scattered all over New En